Deepen My Faith

Potential Steps to Take

1. 1

   Watch and pray

   Jesus did not tell His disciples to try harder. He told them to watch and pray. Praying, “Lord, help me” increases our dependence on God. (Matthew 26:41“Watch and pray so that you will not enter into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”Matthew 26:41 (BSB))

2. 2

   Join a biblical church

   Not only attending — belonging. A church where Scripture is actually preached, where you are known by name, and where someone would notice if you stopped coming. The search tool below is there to help you find a healthy one. (Hebrews 10:24-25And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds. Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.Hebrews 10:24-25 (BSB))

   Church search tool

   Not exhaustive, but a great starting point

3. 3

   Build one or a few close, same gender friendships where you can be vulnerable and transparent in confession, repentance, and prayer in a safe environment

   Shame grows in private, and it moves in a loop: believing porn is wrong and using it anyway produces shame, shame pushes you away from people, isolation deepens into loneliness and depression, and porn becomes the thing you reach for to cope — which feeds the shame again. Researchers found the loop ran hardest in men whose closest friendship felt insecure, and that it did not run the same way in men who had a friend they felt genuinely safe with. Not simply having friends. Having at least one where you can keep it real and don't have to pretend. (Galatians 6:2Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.Galatians 6:2 (BSB), Proverbs 18:1He who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment.Proverbs 18:1 (BSB))

   Waggoner, Volk & Murch, “Out of the Spiral”, Sexual Health & Compulsivity (2025)

4. 4

   Join a group of men walking this same road

   A larger group of men who can mentor, encourage, and walk with you. A mix of guys in your stage of life and older, spiritually mature men is incredibly helpful. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up!Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (BSB), 1 Peter 5:8-9Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.1 Peter 5:8-9 (BSB))

5. 5

   Tell a pastor or elder at your church

   Satan celebrates when you hide in your sin, as this deprives you of healing. Bringing it into the light of church leadership is a faithful step to help them shepherd you. (1 John 1:8-9If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.1 John 1:8-9 (BSB), Acts 20:28Keep watch over yourselves and the entire flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which He purchased with His own blood.Acts 20:28 (BSB))

6. 6

   Work with a counselor to explore the root of the problem

   Lust often stems from something else: loneliness, a desire to be loved, burnout, lack of faith. A counselor helps you explore the emotions and sometimes the trauma underlying the symptoms, in a safe and non-judgmental space. If you can find a Christian, faithful counselor, that is even better. (Proverbs 20:5The intentions of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.Proverbs 20:5 (BSB))

7. 7

   If you are not married, pray to the Lord while considering this path

   It is not good for man to be alone, and God created marriage to solve this problem. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9Now to the unmarried and widows I say this: It is good for them to remain unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (BSB), Genesis 2:18, 20b-22The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper.” … But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the area with flesh. And from the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.Genesis 2:18, 20b-22 (BSB))

8. 8

   If you are married and hiding this from your spouse, pray for courage to confess this to her

   Talk to a trusted friend or counselor about confessing this to her. On top of being a Biblical path of repentance, studies show this correlates with less distress for spouses. (James 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail.James 5:16 (BSB))

   What Confession Does

   Told, not discovered

   Partners of men who disclosed their use reported significantly lower distress and higher relationship satisfaction than those who found out on their own.Institute for Family Studies, “The Truth Hurts Less”

   Hidden sin wounds

   Women who discovered a partner's porn use described it as a traumatic event, with emotions comparable to those of women whose partner physically cheated.Institute for Family Studies, “The Truth Hurts Less”